Why are Male Humans Disgusting: A Rant by a Male Human

As I was driving around my current city of residence, I realized that men are disgusting creatures. I can speak with only slight certainty that women are also disgusting, but coming from a single guy who was the youngest of 3 boys, having no sisters, I cannot be 100% on the issue of women hygiene. I am an American living currently in South Africa, and I realized that the country of origin doesn’t matter. I am a lover of all modes of gross humor, but men are nasty. The following are a few things that I have realized and would like to share with you. I'll use a copout here and say all men are not guilty of all 3 of these things, but these are things I've noticed that "some" men do.

Starting off with what I saw yesterday.

1) Men pick their nose… even in public (sometimes). 

Why do men do this? Heck if I know, but the truth is, men do it. Maybe the reason is to breathe easier, maybe it is a nervous twitch, but one thing is for certain; it is a disgusting habit that must be broken! For the love of all things sanitary, guys if you are going to pick your nose, do not even think about eating it. Somebody was grossed out by just reading that last sentence, but honestly, I was grossed out watching a guy at a red light (robot) today do just that. 

2) Men do not have great aim at all times.

Yes this is referring to urination practices. Anyone who has set foot into a public men’s bathroom knows this to be 100% truth. I can say as a Christian man, having bad aim is not a sin. Failing to clean up after your mishap is one of the most repulsive things you can do! I understand there has been a great debate among men and women since at least 1927 (which is the year the toilet seat was invented by Tom Bradney). Should the toilet seat be put down or remain up after a man does his business is not a concern of mine in this article. Frankly I have trained myself to put the toilet seat down because I know a (future) happy wife means a happy life. This one self training technique could save many days/nights of arguments, and in my opinion is worth investing in. But again in the name of sanitation, whether the toilet seat is up (which it should be) or down when a guy expels liquid, make sure there are no “sprinkle drops” on the toilet when you finish, or clean it up!

*As a bonus or side note to number 2, I would like to add that if one wants to truly understand the difference between men and women one must not look further than how men and women differ in cleaning the inside of a toilet bowl. Women use a brush. Men try to spray it off in a trip to the bathroom; if unsuccessful, men will try again on the next trip. 

3) Hand washing techniques leave a bit to be desired.

By a bit, i may be under shooting… a bit. I do not know how many times I’ve seen a guy walk out of the bathroom after doing his business, whichever of the two businesses that a man can do in a bathroom, and not wash his hands. What makes someone think this is an all right thing to do? It’s not only in the bathroom hand washing, but just hand washing in general that I have found lacking. Pet the dog and eat some chips. Scratch your hind-end and eat some fruit. Pick your nose and eat… we won’t get back into that. In the words of my old respiratory therapy teacher. Wash your nasty hands!

Since all good sermons are 3 points, I shall bring this rant to a close. Brush your teeth, wash your hair (if you still have some), use deodorant and wear clean socks! I am not asking you to not be gross, but just be a little less gross!

Pray in KJV

For those of you who are friends with me on Facebook, you understand just how random of a person I am or can be. I can post a "deep" theological thought one day, and a totally random fact the next. Or more recently, I was in a smack talking mood over the card game, hearts. My good friends have handled my trash talking with much grace, especially on account of the large scale beat down that they have taken... Countless large scale beat downs to be correct.

I posted something the other day, that I had been in thought about for a while. I even had a discussion with the care taker at a Private Children's home that I help manage about the subject. I do not remember my exact post, but I will elaborate on it a bit now.

As a christian, I know I have been guilty (many times) of stating a certain phrase. That phrase: We serve a good God.

Not until more recently did I realize the error in my statement. It is true God is good. Regardless of the 'if God is good then why is there so much bad in the world' question. In a completely personal opinion, my answer to that question is that God has given us free will. If there is no bad in the world, but only good, then we don't really have a choice between good and bad, thus there is no free will. That is the short answer. Many more details could and should be entered for my complete thought on the matter, but we need to get back to the matter at hand.

My error in stating 'We serve a good God.'

I was never an English major, as the 3 or 4 of you who actually take the time to read this blog knew very quickly, but this thought has everything to do with grammar in the English language. The word 'a' is my problem. Saying, 'We serve a good God." might leave a person to think that there is another good God out there some where. Kind of like asking the question, "Do you have a good #2 pencil?" (If you said hashtag 2 pencil, please reread the previous sentence). It's not to say that your #2 pencil is the only good #2 pencil, but simply asking do you have one of the many #2 pencils in the world. 

What could change this question? Replace the word 'a' with the word 'the'. Do you have 'the' #2 pencil? For some reason the word 'the' makes it seem like there are no other #2 pencils in the world. 

Do you want a Reese's Peanut Butter cup? (the answer is always YES!!!!) Or do you want the Reese's Peanut Butter cup? (again the answer is always YES!!!!). A makes me think one of many; whereas, the makes me think the only one. Have I made this point clear? And also the point that you should always say yes to Reese's?!

When we say we serve a good God, we should actually be saying, "We serve the good God!"

That statement leads one to believe that there are no other good gods except our God. It takes away the thought that God is one of the good gods, and sets God apart as the only good god!

I also believe you can substitute the word 'good' with: faithful, merciful, healing, and the list could go on and on. Use your imagination on this one!

Moral of the story: Pray only in KJV, God understands what you mean better in old English! (I'm joking, and hope you knew)

Learn it, Live it, Love it!

You know just because something is in the Bible and you believe it, doesn't mean you really know what it means or have necessarily learned it. Sometimes it takes experience; sometimes it simply takes time to sink in.

Take love for example:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. 

Love is patient: it doesn't force something that isn't there. It develops at the correct moment to be the driving force it waits, even in tough times or difficult situations that are outside of our scope of understanding. 

Love is kind. It doesn't mean it won't poke fun, but it'll never cross the line. 

Love isn't envious of what others have (in a relationship, business, etc...).

Love doesn't boast (before others or in a room all by itself) of what it has, and it definitely doesn't boast of what it may one day have

Love is not proud. There's nothing wrong with being proud of something, but love isn't proud to the point of thinking that what it has could never be lost.

Love isn't rude. It's honest without the rudeness. It gets the point across without being rude.

Love isn't self-seeking. It's not about what you can get out of it. Love isn't about you.

Love isn't easily angered. That doesn't mean that it never gets angry. it just takes a lot to anger it. It maybe disappointed, but there is a thick line between disappointment and anger.

Love doesn't keep a record of wrongs. So even if love does get angry (and according to the previous statement, it took a lot), it forgives and forgets. It doesn't keep a tally of how many times it has been wronged. 

Love doesn't delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. Evil brings pain to love while truth rejuvenates it.

Love always protects. it always has protection on the forefront of it's mind, in every circumstance, like an instinct. It makes sure to provide and meet needs.

Love always trusts. Trust is the foundation of love. If there is no trust, there is no relationship (in any form).

Love perseveres. No matter the circumstance, situation, huge life change, or small life change, love out lasts them all.

Love never fails, period.

No where does it say love is easy, or comfortable, and it surely doesn't say that love is easy to find (especially in this day and age).

Regardless, love never fails.

Some may say, "Oh you must have really loved them/that."
But I would say no. that isn't the case at all because love (to me) isn't past tense. Love is present: love is the decision that I will make in the future. I love now, and I will love.

"United in Love"

  

What You Need

Have you ever heard that Jesus is the answer to every question? I've heard it, and obviously one could ask a question that has nothing to do with Jesus, but in reality, Jesus is the answer to every question. He's everything we need; he's simply, the answer. Before I get too deep on myself let me explain.

Woman at the well needed water; she received living water straight from the Source. but he's not just water. Sometimes people are hungry and not thirsty. For those, He is the Bread of Life.

We all walk in a world full of darkness, but some indulge in that darkness and fall into the traps of the dark; Jesus is the Light of the World and can put those traps into the light so that they can be avoided.

People travel but don't get anywhere because they are lost and don't even know it, living a lie that they believe is truth, living a life that's leading them only to death.  For those (and all of us) He is the way, the truth, and the life.

People are different. Some react to more of a dictator quality in a person better than a gentle command. Jesus is the Lion of the Tribe of Judah, He is the Lamb of God.

He doesn't have a split personality. He's not bread for someone who needs water. He's not a Lion for someone who needs a Lamb.

This isn't a "Jesus is only what you need and nothing else" gospel.
This is a "Jesus is exactly what you need" gospel.

Build Faith

If you are a friend of mine on facebook, you've probably noticed that I have been reading a book by the pastor of Elevation Church in Charlotte, North Carolina, Steven Furtick. The book is called Greater, and it has really helped me to broaden some horizons, to check myself in some areas.

Have you ever had something that you have poured tons and tons of prayer into, but it seems as if that situation not only hasn't gotten any better, but in fact, it has gotten worse than it was before you even started praying? How does this happen? I haven't worked that part out yet, but one thing that I have learned is to not give up praying. How unintelligent (chose that one because stupid is a mean word...) would it be to give up on a situation after months or even years of praying for it; even after one setback, no matter how major that setback may have been, it would be ridiculous to 'fold the tent.'

One of the things Pastor Furtick says in this book is "The journey toward greater things is marked with setbacks and real suffering. Sometimes as your faith is getting greater, your situation is getting worser." Now I don't condone the usage of the word worser (even though it once was considered appropriate to use... look it up), but that statement made me realize, by stopping prayer for the situation, I could stop the growth of my faith in that situation.

Do I believe that sometimes God says "Let it go." Yes, I do believe that. Somethings aren't in his plan for our lives, but I also believe that when that point comes, He will give you an answer, a clear answer. Even if that answer is one word, (to steal another phrase from this book) "When God is the one talking to you, one word is more than enough."

If that word is "Stop," then that is more than enough for you to focus your praying energies into another situation. But if that word is "Continue," is that enough for us to really... continue on? If you think about it like this, Peter jumped out of the boat to walk on water at one word from Jesus, "Come." But the question is, are we willing to jump at one word from our God?"

I know, in my life, I look for some details. While God doesn't do the details, he has already done them. We aren't asked to worry with them because they are already taken care of. We are asked simply to 'come' or 'continue' or even sometimes to 'stop.'

So instead of throwing countless hours of faith building prayer down the drain, continue on. After a month or so of... (enter throat clear here)... taking a break, I think it's time to get the tent stakes back in the ground and build some more faith!

Promises

Promises, one of the things that humans put so much value on, yet oftentimes, so little stock in. As kids, we grow up learning never to break a promise, especially pinky promises! It is amazing how something so sacred as a promise can be magnified even more by simply locking pinkies with another. It's also amazing how we can go from 'cross my heart and hope to die' to breaking that promise like a toothpick. As adults however, when someone promises us something, we typically take it with a proverbial 'grain of salt.'

Pressure is something that has ruined many good promises, broken many  good friendships, shattered many extravagant dreams. If we could do an accurate study of how people handle pressure, I believe we would find that most people perform more poorly under pressure than they would undertaking the same task with no pressure. I don't personally know of anyone for certain, who hasn't broken a promise. The promise might have been made, as most are, with every good intention, but do to outside circumstances (pressure), the promise was broken. Why is it so hard to keep a promise? Why are we so easily influenced, or so timid of enduring moments of pressure in order to be true to our word?

Nobody likes to be uncomfortable, and pressure is uncomfortable. This is one reason why I am so glad that Isaiah 55 shows us that God's ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts. If God succumbed to pressure the same way that we do, he would be the (literally) biggest liar of all, but His ways aren't our ways. He cannot lie; therefore, He cannot break a promise. His promises fill His Word from cover to cover, but the one that has stuck out to me the most recently is Matthew 19:29.

And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. (Matthew 19:29 NIV)

As a missionary, this verse is an amazing promise! We leave everything: family, jobs, and friends are just the tip of the iceberg that we leave behind. Some people wonder, "For what? Why do you leave when there are people here who need help?" 

While we don't leave to receive the hundred fold, this promise has enabled many to endure the hardship of leaving those we care about, to reach others that we may never know.

The proverb is true that you reap what you sew, but when you sew where the Master tells you to sew, the reward is much greater.

United In Love (What's LOVE got to do, got to do with it?)

Colossians 2:2 NIV (emphasis mine)- My goal is that they would be encouraged in heart and United in Love, so that they may have full riches of complete understanding...

"United In Love" has become (for lack of a better term) my ministry slogan . The Bible is so clear that, as Christians, we must love in everything we do. Love must be who we are.

1 Corinthians 13:1 says- If I could speak all of the languages of earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.

Love is the universal language, and surpasses many barriers. Though the world has made gray the line between love and lust, true genuine love is understood worldwide. Love can soften the hardest and warm the coldest of hearts.

Sometimes, the correct words are no where to be found. Even the most articulate person with the greatest knowledge of vocabulary cannot adequately express his or her feelings from time to time. With all the big words and extravagant gestures, the message sometimes gets lost. Love doesn't have to be flamboyant to be recognized. When it develops a 'look at me' attitude, then it is no longer love.

1 Corinthians 13:4- Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy it does not boast, it is not proud.

Love doesn't look for the spotlight, it only needs a spot. From that spot, it grows and becomes who we are. It envelopes and changes us; as we interact with others, they no longer see us for who we were, they see us for who we are. We are the children of God and (1John 4:8) God is Love; this makes us children of Love.

So to answer the question, 'What's love got to do with it?' The answer is simply: Everything!



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