As I was driving around my current city of residence, I realized that men are disgusting creatures. I can speak with only slight certainty that women are also disgusting, but coming from a single guy who was the youngest of 3 boys, having no sisters, I cannot be 100% on the issue of women hygiene. I am an American living currently in South Africa, and I realized that the country of origin doesn’t matter. I am a lover of all modes of gross humor, but men are nasty. The following are a few things that I have realized and would like to share with you. I'll use a copout here and say all men are not guilty of all 3 of these things, but these are things I've noticed that "some" men do.
Starting off with what I saw yesterday.
1) Men pick their nose… even in public (sometimes).
Why do men do this? Heck if I know, but the truth is, men do it. Maybe the reason is to breathe easier, maybe it is a nervous twitch, but one thing is for certain; it is a disgusting habit that must be broken! For the love of all things sanitary, guys if you are going to pick your nose, do not even think about eating it. Somebody was grossed out by just reading that last sentence, but honestly, I was grossed out watching a guy at a red light (robot) today do just that.
2) Men do not have great aim at all times.
Yes this is referring to urination practices. Anyone who has set foot into a public men’s bathroom knows this to be 100% truth. I can say as a Christian man, having bad aim is not a sin. Failing to clean up after your mishap is one of the most repulsive things you can do! I understand there has been a great debate among men and women since at least 1927 (which is the year the toilet seat was invented by Tom Bradney). Should the toilet seat be put down or remain up after a man does his business is not a concern of mine in this article. Frankly I have trained myself to put the toilet seat down because I know a (future) happy wife means a happy life. This one self training technique could save many days/nights of arguments, and in my opinion is worth investing in. But again in the name of sanitation, whether the toilet seat is up (which it should be) or down when a guy expels liquid, make sure there are no “sprinkle drops” on the toilet when you finish, or clean it up!
*As a bonus or side note to number 2, I would like to add that if one wants to truly understand the difference between men and women one must not look further than how men and women differ in cleaning the inside of a toilet bowl. Women use a brush. Men try to spray it off in a trip to the bathroom; if unsuccessful, men will try again on the next trip.
3) Hand washing techniques leave a bit to be desired.
By a bit, i may be under shooting… a bit. I do not know how many times I’ve seen a guy walk out of the bathroom after doing his business, whichever of the two businesses that a man can do in a bathroom, and not wash his hands. What makes someone think this is an all right thing to do? It’s not only in the bathroom hand washing, but just hand washing in general that I have found lacking. Pet the dog and eat some chips. Scratch your hind-end and eat some fruit. Pick your nose and eat… we won’t get back into that. In the words of my old respiratory therapy teacher. Wash your nasty hands!
Since all good sermons are 3 points, I shall bring this rant to a close. Brush your teeth, wash your hair (if you still have some), use deodorant and wear clean socks! I am not asking you to not be gross, but just be a little less gross!
